


This is My Apology Song

by elysiumwaits



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Arguing, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure James T. Kirk, M/M, Making Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:46:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22314259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elysiumwaits/pseuds/elysiumwaits
Summary: Jim finds Bones in his office when it ticks over into Gamma shift, and Bones still hasn't come to bed.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Leonard "Bones" McCoy
Comments: 8
Kudos: 83
Collections: Chocolate Box - Round 5





	This is My Apology Song

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Highlander_II](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Highlander_II/gifts).



> Just a quick little treat! Hope you enjoy. Originally there was supposed to be smut but it kind of just evolved into exhausted hurt/comfort after an argument, sorry!

Jim finds Bones in his office when it ticks over into Gamma shift, and Bones still hasn't come to bed. He's relieved that Bones hasn't just outright locked everything down, so that he doesn't have to use an override to get in. Not that Bones has ever done that, really. No, the door has always been open for Jim, even when they're spitting mad at each other. Jim is both comforted that he just _knows_ that Bones will always let him in and terrified that this will be the one time that the door doesn't open.

"Go to bed, Jim," is what Bones says when the door opens, which is significantly better than what he was saying last night. 

What they were both saying last night, if he's being honest. Jim's a man who can own his mistakes, these days. When it matters, at least. And Bones always matters. The words don't come easy, though, so Jim goes for the roundabout, gentle approach. "I can't sleep," he says as the door shuts behind him. He doesn't take a seat in the chair on the other side of Bones' desk, though, because there's always the chance that Bones will just tell him to go. 

It hasn't happened yet, but there's always a chance. 

Bones looks up from his PADD. He's not glaring, but he does look annoyed, lips thin and eyes tired. Doesn't look like he's going to be able to sleep either. "I have a hypo for that," he grumbles, but it's an empty threat. He knows how Jim feels about sedatives.

"Or." Jim shifts where he's leaning against the wall. "You could come to bed."

With a sigh, Bones gives up the pretense of working and sets the PADD down on his desk. He lifts a hand to rub at his forehead, watches as Jim finally takes a seat in one of the chairs across from him. "Why am I even mad, Jim?" he asks quietly, digs his thumb in next to his own eyebrow like he's trying to will a headache away. "Why do I get so upset about it?"

Jim scrubs at his own cheek. He's pretty tired, too. It's not like he could sleep last night, too worked up after their little implosion to even try, and it doesn't look like Bones got much rest either. "Because it's a sensitive subject," he finally replies. "And I was an insensitive asshole about it." He gets a snort for that. "Hey, those were the exact words you used. And, you know. If the shoe fits, I might as well wear it."

"I shouldn't have said that, Jim." Bones rests his cheek on his hand, and looks at Jim with something like exhaustion and chagrin. "I wasn't exactly acting like a rational person either."

Jim loves this man. He really, really does. "Don't apologize to me, Bones, you weren't wrong," he says. "I knew that Jocelyn is a difficult subject. I pushed, and then I lashed out, and I'm sorry."

There's a moment of quiet, then, as Bones searches Jim's expression. He nods, then, and a small, tired smile crosses his face. When he speaks, it's quiet. "Alright. Apology accepted."

A weight lifts itself off of Jim's shoulders. "So you'll come to bed?" he asks. "I can't sleep if you're not with me."

Bones gives another nod. When he stands, Jim does too. He doesn't head for the door, though, because he knows what's coming - there's a script now that they follow when they break down like this. There's a routine. Bones comes around the desk, and his arms around Jim feels like he's able to take a deep breath for the first time since their fight.

"Yeah," Bones says, and his breath tickles Jim's ear and hair when he blows out a tired, but content, sigh. "Let's go to bed."

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic of] This is My Apology Song](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23956021) by [Flowerparrish](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flowerparrish/pseuds/Flowerparrish)
  * [[podfic of] This is My Apology Song](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23991907) by [Dr_Fumbles_McStupid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dr_Fumbles_McStupid/pseuds/Dr_Fumbles_McStupid)
  * [This is My Apology Song [Podfic]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24033811) by [tinypinkmouse_podfics (tinypinkmouse)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinypinkmouse/pseuds/tinypinkmouse_podfics)




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